Alone
by Nathamon
Summary: I can already feel it taking over me. It took everything from me. My happiness, a normal life and my only friend. I am rusting away and there is not much time left. Rating might change.


**PLEASE READ THIS!**** (Authors note)**

**Hi, this is my first fic I will publish here! ^^**

**Please note that I do not write much. When I write, I write _for fun_ and then it can turn out really sloppy. Many times, I don't even try to make it good.**

**But this one I thought I could publish. I started to write it in school as one more of those "just for fun" stories and then I continued writing it. This is how serious it gets for me.**

**If you still choose to read it, I really hope you will enjoy it, with your expectations not too high! :)**

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_I can already feel it taking over me. It took everything from me. My happiness, a normal life and my only friend._

* * *

I have a very slightly faded, but still rather clear, memory of visiting his house one day. It was in the slums, very close to our school. I remember walking up the colorful stairs, my left hand grasping an iron pipe, opening the door, looking inside. And there I saw him, standing in the middle of the room, quiet, looking at me for a second but remaining silent. His sister hid behind his back, holding her big brother and carefully peeking out from behind him.

I walked up in front of him, but there was no reaction.

I walked around him but he was still quiet, didn't move. The room was still, with only the sound of my footsteps, my loud, frustrated breathing and his sister's small whimpers.

I was tired of this. Being ignored. I thought we were friends, I thought he liked me.

"Why?"

A scream escaped my throat as I felt tears in my eyes.

"Why, Smile? I thought we were… We..."

He remained emotionless, but for a second I thought I saw an expression of misery on his face.

"This isn't my fault, you know," I mumbled. I didn't want to cry, but I just couldn't help it. The tears started to roll down my cheeks.

"I never wanted this and you know it."

His voice was calm with a hint of fury, like he was struggling not to yell out loud.

"Shut up. All I wanted was for you to support me." I tried to sound confident but my voice wavered.

"I can't! I have a family to protect."

His "family", his sister, took one more step, making her brother's back conceal her further after I glanced at her for a second, trying to think over what my "friend" just had told me.

"Real friends don't leave their friends," I mumbled. "No matter what."

"Stop it!"

A loud yell from him almost cut me off, making me wince.

"I know that you're in pain, but I have my own life and family!"

Again, he raised his voice, but soon he started to calm down. "I didn't want to desert you, but my sister is the most important thing in my life."

He looked straight at me, now with a clear expression of pain. "I'm sorry."

No, I couldn't take this. Feelings shot through my body, feelings of pity, sadness, fury and the hurting feeling of longing after our friendship. All of them at the same time until the painful fury took over. How dare he leave me when I needed him the most?

"I'm sick of this!"

Before I had even considered becoming violent I flung myself at him, my iron pipe raised and at the ready. I wanted him to pay for what he had done, but he reacted quickly and blocked my sudden attack with his arm. And at once he started to SMILE. That smile. It was that big, haunting, almost frightening smile that I had seen so many times before, the smile that had given the boy his very own nickname. And I could hear it. He was laughing at me.

"You're a sick girl, but I'll see you again... Ha ha ha…"

It was a rather calm laugh, but enough to make me go crazy. The heavy pipe I had held fell out of my hand and onto the floor with a loud clunk as I felt my body growing weaker. Shaking with anger, clutching the sides of my aching head, I wished to cry out as loud as I could. The rage was starting to build up, build up to something unbearable. It was simply too much. I fled, leaving behind me the boy whom I called a betrayer. I had failed to confront my best friend. I was just a worthless coward.

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_But it is definitely too late to do anything now, isn't it? Everything is already lost. I had locked my door and by doing so, locked out everything else, only to both remember and to try to forget. Reliving my life through my computer screen, the only thing that could make me feel real again. It could heal me, and still, there was nothing that could break me so easily. My own twisted reality. My .flow._

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**Sorry for the short first chapter! I will probably continue this, and at least try to put a little effort in it. Hope you enjoyed!**


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